


I dont wanna live anymore

by Gallavichfanficc



Category: Shameless (US), ian and mickey
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-07
Updated: 2018-05-07
Packaged: 2019-05-03 17:21:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14573850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gallavichfanficc/pseuds/Gallavichfanficc
Summary: Ian is in one of his really low moods. He's been laying in bed, all day and night. But Mickey is there to help, like always. He goes to the grocery store with Yev and leaves Svetlana with Ian.





	I dont wanna live anymore

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first piece, so im sorry if its bad, and the grammer isnt good. I also wrote this a while ago, but i decided why not post it. Also sorry its depressing for those of you who dont like that stuff, but the ending is happy.

The house us quiet.

Mickey is out getting grocieres, and he brought Yev with him.

He never pictured himself five years ago, or heck even a year ago, where he is now, shopping for food with his son, for his family. His boyfriend, Ian Gallagher.

He felt kind of unsure about leaving Ian at home, knowing he is in one of his low moods, but he trusts Svetlana to take care of him while hes out, the woman really grown a liking to the redhead, and Mickeys pretty sure he can say Svetlana cares about him too.

Mickey pulls into the driveway and hears some noise in the backyard, he figures its just a stray dog or something and continues to unload the car, Yev seat in one hand, groceries in another.

He walks in the house and yells for Svet to come help him but gets no answer.

Then he realizes that the house is completely quiet.

He puts the groceries down and looks around for Svetlana, then he seez her from the kitchen, threw the back door, fuckin trimmin bushes

'What the fuck is she doing?' Mickey thinks to himself.

He puts Yev down and walks outside. 

"What the fuck are you doing?" "I asked you to keep an eye on Ian?" He asks standing in the doorway.

Svetlana looks up at him. 

"I clean house." "He stays in bed all day and sleeps so I come outside and trim bushes." 

Mickey looks at her confused. 

"Yea i see that." "But you should of stayed inside." He says, leaning against the doorway.

But at that same moment, he realizes and thinks to himself.

'ian.'

He starts panicking. He feels his heartbeat start to race and his mind fills with too many things to form into one sensable one.

He raced inside, slamming the door behind him his heart practically beating out of his chest at this point.

He looks in the bedrrom, and hes not there. Laying on his side in his dirty boxers, with the blanket pulled over the lower half of his body, just as he was when he left.

A heaping pile of anger sweeps right over him at Svet for not watching Ian. And now he doesnt know where he is.

Hes standing mindlessly afriad in the doorway of the bedroom they've been sharing, frozen hooing he could wake up and this could all be a dream, and Ian would be okay, or at least sleeping like he was before, not wherever he is right now. 

He gets the motivation to move his numb legs around and look for Ian.

He looks to his left and sees the bathroom door shut, the lights are off, but he knows Ian must be in there because they never shut the bathroom door unless someone is taking a shit.

He approaches the bathroom slowly, and knocks.

No answer.

He starts to get worried. He knocks again, this time harder, and speaks his voice cracked and filled with worry.

"Ian?" No answer.

He keeps knocking and calling his name, but still gets no answer. Finally, he had it. He's given him a chance to open the door, but now he's just worried, and angry, he yells his voice deep, but loud, filled with sad worried anger, and heavy.

"Ian!" "If you don't open this goddamn door right now! I'm bustin in!" 

Still nothing but silence.

He backs up a few steps, enough room for him to shove himself into the door, and it busts open like he intended.

He opens the door and stands in the doorway. Scared of what he's going to see before him. He looks down too see his boyfriend, sitting up against their bathtub, still as a rock. His head and arms enveloped in his legs, so all Mickey could see was his red hair, and his naked pale back.

Mickey's not sure what to do, or what's happening. He walks over to him and seats himself before him, facing him. He puts his arm on his bicep and shakes his arm lightly trying to get In to move or get something out of him.

They sit there in silence for a few moments, then suddenly Ian starts crying.

mickey shifts himself and stops.then the fresh scent of blood tickles his nose.

His eyes widen in fear.

He looks down to see a spot of blood right in between Ian's legs.

He shakes him.

"Ian!" "What did you do!" 

Mickeys had enough. Without hesitation, he rips Ian's head from his folded arms and sees his boyfriends wet, damp face, all covered in tears.he wants to cry, he swallows hard, looking at his lover.

"Ian?" He says quietly voice filled with worry.

"Ian, talk to me please?" "What did you do?" You can hear the hurt in his voice.

Ian finally looks up at him, hot tears pouring freely down his face. He starts shaking.

Mickey let's go of Ian's arm and sees him shaking. He trys to figure out whats going on. Then he looks down, and Ian's inner arms were open in broad daylight.

He grabs Ian's right arm and sees bright red bloody cuts going horizontally across each of his inner arms.

He feels his heart drop. He insintly hates himself, for leaving him alone, but he had no idea he would do this. 

He drops Ian's arm and puts one hand over his mouth in shock of what he just saw. 

"Ian?" " W-why would you do this?" "What happened?"he feels tears pouring down his cheeks.

He grabs Ian's face with two hands and looks at him.

"Say something!" "Please!"

In has no choice but to look him right in the eye because Mickey's grip on his wet face is too strong and he's to weak to try to break free.

"I-i." He can't speak. Its as if he lost his own voice.

He's still looking at Mickey but remembers the razorblade that's laying between his legs. He tries to move it unnoticeably so Mickey cant see it, not that its not already too late for that anyway. But Mickey notices it, and quickly grabs it.

 

He has the blade in one hand, the other softly bracing the back of Ian's neck.

"Ian why?!" "Why would you cut yourself like this?" He's holding Ian's right wrist up to him showing him as if he doesn't all ready know.

"I don't wanna be here anymore." "I just- I hate myself"

"Ian stop." He moves closer to him.

Ian looks up at him. Still crying. 

"I don't want you to leave me." Mickey looks back at him.

"You did this because you think I'm gonna leave you?"

In shuts his eyes and a tear pushes itself out of his bright green eyes.

"I'm not leaving you, ever." "I can't believe you did this"

Mickey presses Ian's head against his chest and opens his legs to move Ian closer to him. And he wraps his arms tightly around him.

"I love you" he says choking on his tears. "I'm never leaving you." "We gotta get you some help."

Ian starts to calm down, holding onto Mickey curled up into him, he feels safe, and reassured. 

"I'm sorry." He breaks his voice soflty.

"Ssh..its okay." Mickey holds him tighter and rocks him slowly.

They sit there for a while, just like that, and Ian falls asleep in his arms.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys liked it! Please leave kudos. let me know what else you guys want me to do. Im open to almost anything gallavich!


End file.
